Know Your Enemy, and Laugh At His Pain

Know Your Enemy, and Laugh At His Pain

This adventure in schadenfreude is not about the recent surprising Hextall GM Massacre, nor the ongoing Hakstol-Quenneville-nope-still-Hakstol-nope-now-Gordon-for-the-time-being-anyway clown carnival of coaches. Nay, the Gritties under new GM Chuck Fletcher provide far more value than that for your Pennsylvania hockey entertainment dollar. Today we take a ride on the Merry-Go-Round Of Flyers Goalie Infirmity And Suckitude, episode Fall 2018, the latest in their display of incompetence and futility at the goaltending position that dates back more than forty years. 


Obligatory “1975” mention.

The following list is sort of in order, but it’s a shitshow to really figure out. Stats are though 12/16.

  1. Brian Elliott. He started the season as the #1, but suffered a lower body injury 11/15. Was supposed to be out just a couple of weeks but is still on IR a month later, and his return was just pushed back at least into mid-January after a setback over the past weekend. 

14 GP — 6-7 W-L — .911 sv% — 2.59 GAA

Note the below-even W-L record, coupled with a good save % and an okay GAA. The Flyers offense wasn’t helping him by, you know, scoring goals. So remember that while their goaltending sucks, they have other problems too.

2. Calvin Pickard. He was waived by Toronto at the end of their camp, and claimed by Philly. Played some games, then was waived by Philly 11/28, and claimed by Arizona. Hasn’t been able to crack the lineup there, even with Raanta out for probably the rest of the year. Still on Yotes roster. The below numbers are all with Philly.

11 GP — 4-2 W-L — .863 sv% — 4.01 GAA

They thought they could do better? Maybe. But this is Philadelphia.

3. Michal Neuvirth. Originally slotted as Elliott’s backup, he has been on and off of IR for an undisclosed LBI all season. Played only his second game on 12/9 (he was pulled because Flyers Goalie Suckage) and then missed the last several days because his wife was having a baby. He’s back with the team 3.now and is “presumably” the starter, despite his abysmal stats to date (admittedly a small sample size).

2 GP — 0-2 W-L — .719 sv% — 6.17 GAA

4. Anthony Stolarz. He was waived at the end of Flyers camp when Pickard was claimed. He cleared waivers, was sent to AHL (Lehigh Valley). Called up 11/24, and has played since then. He got hurt in the Vancouver game on Sunday (12/16, 4th consecutive team loss). Onto the IR with him. LBI, expected to miss 2-4 weeks.

9 GP — 2-3 W-L — .880 sv% — 3.90 GAA

5. Alex Lyon. He was injured during the preseason, started in AHL. Up and down as the backup in November, most recently called up 12/13 when Neuvirth left to be with his wife. Played in Vancouver on Sunday, replacing Stolarz who got pulled early because Flyers’ Goalie Injury. You’d think he would remain the backup to Neuvirth, but this is Philly, they sent him back to LV on Monday afternoon.

2 GP — 0-1 W-L — .806 sv% — 5.08 GAA

Which brings us to……

6. Carter Hart. The New Hope for the future. 1st goalie taken in the 2016 draft, 48th overall (R2). Great numbers in WHL, started this year at LV. Did not get off to a good start at the AHL level, but the last few games he has been trending better. SO HEY IT’S THE FLYERS, LET’S PROMOTE HIM TO THE NHL!

0 GP

They’re going to roll with just Neuvirth and an untested kid. (Bold strategy, Pylons.) Will the kid play? Will they f*ck up his development in a panic move to put butts in empty seats and make money for Comcast, and to distract the remaining fans from the management and coaching soap operas, and all the rest of the shittiness on the ice?

Stay tuned.

The next time our own goalie issues make you want to tear your hair out and kick puppies, remember the above and feel better instantly. And don’t kick puppies.

F*CK THE FLYERS, AND THEIR COMCAST OVERLORDS TOO.


Thanks to Leeeny for the in-depth and great content!

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